Tag Archives: death

Live Your Dream! Become a Killer Whale Trainer in your Own Home!

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Killer Orca Whale Thing

Hey kids! Want to be a KILLER WHALE TRAINER? Sure you do! Now you can experience what it’s like with this 40 inch Orca Whale by Fiesta!

Just set it in the middle of your room, pool, or dungeon, step far away, and yell at it! Watch as it does absolutely nothing you tell it to do, just like real wild killer whales! DON’T TOUCH IT, IT WILL KILL YOU. It adds to the realism! Plus, new laws won’t let you touch it anyway. Wow!

While the size is not to scale, it’s stuffed and dead inside just like real killer whales in captivity! Wow! If you’re lucky, you can get a blurry picture to photoshop it and yourself into a Free Willy poster. WOW! I SAY WOW!

Did you know that Killer Whales are sometimes called Orcas? I wonder why they never call them that in the news? Only Jackie Robinson knows…

How To: Kill the Ever-Living Hell Out of Fruit, Laugh Maniacally

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Breville 800JEXL Juice Fountain Elite 1000-Watt Juice Extractor

Have you ever want to….let’s say… DESTROY all the fruit in existence? Like, Hitler-style kill? Have you ever wanted to be the anti-fruit dictator who then sucks down the remains of your victims?

Then follow our steps! This is something the whole family can enjoy!

1. Gather your victims. If you have the budget of a small country, you can at least buy up all the fruit at your local grocer. If you have a high credit limit, maybe all the fruit on amazon.

2. Get yourself a few of these death machines.

3. Get a barrel. Evil Dictators always keep remains in barrels.

4. Practice your Maniacal Laugh.

BONUS STEP: Film everything and upload to Youtube. Make sure you have the laugh down before you do this. It’s VERY IMPORTANT.

If all goes well, we should be rid of all the fruit on the planet before the end of the year! Isn’t that awesome?

Wolfenstein: The New Order REVIEW – People will like it.

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Wolfenstein: The New Order

Hello, everyone! Here’s our take on Wolfenstein: The New Order. After several hours of thinking about how the game play will be, we’re pretty sure people will like it. I mean, if you’re smart you can just like, go to Youtube and see some of the footage yourself.

There. Take a damn good look. If you like it, buy it. Pre-order it and play it when it comes out. It’s pretty simple. I mean, check it out: you can get it for PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, PC, PlayStation 4, and Xbox One. If this is the type of game you like, you have NO EXCUSE BUT TO BUY IT, BECAUSE YOU WILL LIKE IT.

Now that we’ve done all the work for you, you better appreciate it. We hope our review helped you make up your mind. That’s what reviews do, don’t they?

Also, that DOOM Beta is something you will most likely like too. Dammit, WHY AREN’T YOU CLICKING?