PARENTAL DISCRETION ADVISED: STRONG LANGUAGE

Ok… seriously… remember how we were talking about this earlier this week?

We go to check the news today, something we only do when we’re VERY bored. And there’s a BIG FUCKING ARTICLE on how some hack called “Stephen Colbert” is replacing Dave Letterman on the Late Show. SERIOUSLY???

WHO THE FUCK IS STEPHEN COLBERT?

As you know, we were all about TEAM FERGUSON. It was HIS JOB to take. He’s AMAZING. We were in SUCH A RAGE that we actually had to do RESEARCH as to WHO THE FUCK THIS STEPHEN COLBERT IS. At first, we thought he was that guy in Death to Smoochy. Turns out, that’s ANOTHER guy. I don’t even remember his fucking name.  Why do people think these idiots are even IMPORTANT? It looks like they to POLITICAL SHOWS. LAME. What kind of IDIOT gives a DAMN about POLITICS?? All politics do is depress and opress! Who the FUCK would watch a show like that? THEY’RE NOT FUN AT ALL. I don’t want politics in my late night shows!

We tried to watch this insignificant nobody’s show. We tried to watch it all day.

Not one laugh. NOT ONE FUCKING LAUGH. He is not funny. We watched like 500 shows.

Anybody want to place their bets? We bet that he’ll either be booted before even taking the desk, or get Conan’d in the first year.

As for you, Craig. We love you. I think we read that you’re getting a nice settlement for not getting the job. May we suggest some shopping? You deserve it.

WHO THE FUCK IS STEPHEN COLBERT?