A Moment of Pause, a Realization of the True Meaning of Life and God

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First of all, we’d like to apologize for our outburst in the last post. That is NOT what we here at Fun with Amazon are about. We let our emotions get the best of us, no matter HOW JUSTIFIED…. er… yes. We will try not to let it happen again. Of course it most likely will… we are only human-ish.

So let’s get back to what we’re REALLY about.

Fun!

And what is more fun than the true meaning of life? Well, we put the number 42 into amazon’s search engine, and here’s what we found:

Apparently, according to amazon… the answer to life is a movie about Jackie Robinson. We’ve taken this as a sign from the amazon heavens. Thusly, we have accepted Jackie Robinson as our new Lord and Savior.

Lord and Savior Jackie Robinson

ALL PRAISE OUR LORD AND SAVIOR, JACKIE ROBINSON! May you bless us with love, joy, and RBIs.

SERIOUSLY??! WHO THE *FUCK* IS STEPHEN COLBERT?

PARENTAL DISCRETION ADVISED: STRONG LANGUAGE
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Ok… seriously… remember how we were talking about this earlier this week?

We go to check the news today, something we only do when we’re VERY bored. And there’s a BIG FUCKING ARTICLE on how some hack called “Stephen Colbert” is replacing Dave Letterman on the Late Show. SERIOUSLY???

WHO THE FUCK IS STEPHEN COLBERT?

As you know, we were all about TEAM FERGUSON. It was HIS JOB to take. He’s AMAZING. We were in SUCH A RAGE that we actually had to do RESEARCH as to WHO THE FUCK THIS STEPHEN COLBERT IS. At first, we thought he was that guy in Death to Smoochy. Turns out, that’s ANOTHER guy. I don’t even remember his fucking name.  Why do people think these idiots are even IMPORTANT? It looks like they to POLITICAL SHOWS. LAME. What kind of IDIOT gives a DAMN about POLITICS?? All politics do is depress and opress! Who the FUCK would watch a show like that? THEY’RE NOT FUN AT ALL. I don’t want politics in my late night shows!

We tried to watch this insignificant nobody’s show. We tried to watch it all day.

Not one laugh. NOT ONE FUCKING LAUGH. He is not funny. We watched like 500 shows.

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Anybody want to place their bets? We bet that he’ll either be booted before even taking the desk, or get Conan’d in the first year.

As for you, Craig. We love you. I think we read that you’re getting a nice settlement for not getting the job. May we suggest some shopping? You deserve it.

WHO THE FUCK IS STEPHEN COLBERT?

WHO THE FUCK IS STEPHEN COLBERT?

How To: Kill the Ever-Living Hell Out of Fruit, Laugh Maniacally

Breville 800JEXL Juice Fountain Elite 1000-Watt Juice Extractor

Have you ever want to….let’s say… DESTROY all the fruit in existence? Like, Hitler-style kill? Have you ever wanted to be the anti-fruit dictator who then sucks down the remains of your victims?

Then follow our steps! This is something the whole family can enjoy!

1. Gather your victims. If you have the budget of a small country, you can at least buy up all the fruit at your local grocer. If you have a high credit limit, maybe all the fruit on amazon.

2. Get yourself a few of these death machines.

3. Get a barrel. Evil Dictators always keep remains in barrels.

4. Practice your Maniacal Laugh.

BONUS STEP: Film everything and upload to Youtube. Make sure you have the laugh down before you do this. It’s VERY IMPORTANT.

If all goes well, we should be rid of all the fruit on the planet before the end of the year! Isn’t that awesome?

Wolfenstein: The New Order REVIEW – People will like it.

Wolfenstein: The New Order

Hello, everyone! Here’s our take on Wolfenstein: The New Order. After several hours of thinking about how the game play will be, we’re pretty sure people will like it. I mean, if you’re smart you can just like, go to Youtube and see some of the footage yourself.

There. Take a damn good look. If you like it, buy it. Pre-order it and play it when it comes out. It’s pretty simple. I mean, check it out: you can get it for PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, PC, PlayStation 4, and Xbox One. If this is the type of game you like, you have NO EXCUSE BUT TO BUY IT, BECAUSE YOU WILL LIKE IT.

Now that we’ve done all the work for you, you better appreciate it. We hope our review helped you make up your mind. That’s what reviews do, don’t they?

Also, that DOOM Beta is something you will most likely like too. Dammit, WHY AREN’T YOU CLICKING?

How To: Create the Flying Lobster Demons in Your Dreams

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So in my dream last night, a horde of Flying Lobster Demons destroyed the world. Let’s make that happen! Here’s how you can do it with our favorite site, amazon!

Ingredients:

Lobsters. Lots of them.

Red Bull. Lots of it.

Hot Sauce. Must be at least 100,000 scovilles.

Some kind of mutant radioactive yellow cake.

Luck.

As for what to do after that, we have no idea. We’re hoping you can figure that out. Have fun destroying the world!

Flash Boys: A Wall Street Revolt Review. Seriously?

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Here’s our review of Flash Boys: A Wall Street Revolt.

Seriously? Uh. I mean…. who reads BOOKS these days?

Seriously. The only reason I have any is that they look good on a bookshelf. I’m sure this will be out on Blu-Ray someday. Maybe I’ll care then.

 

Ugh.

SanDisk Cruzer 32 GB USB Flash Drive – Help your Friend’s Porn Addiction

SanDisk Cruzer 32 GB USB Flash Drive

Do you have a friend in need? Are they in constant terror that their parents or loved ones will find their porn collection? Save their life and give them a piece of mind with the SanDisk Cruzer 32 GB USB Flash Drive.

They’re such a good deal, you can buy one for each kink and genre! Just be sure to put them someplace safe. And no, labeling wherever you keep them as “PORN” to be funny and think people will think you’re not being serious doesn’t work.

Trust me……. just please, for the love of god, just trust me on that one.

Pringles Nacho Cheese Tortilla Crisps – How DARE YOU? SERIOUSLY!!

Pringles Nacho Cheese Tortilla Crisps OF HELL

Dear Pringles,

We hate you. We hate you so much. HOW DARE YOU RELEASE Pringles Nacho Cheese Tortilla Crisps NOW?  WHERE were these when WE were kids? REALLY!? How DARE you relase something that all of us, well out of college, can no longer eat because our obesity-rejection life coaches will turn on the shock collar for 60 SECONDS instead of 30? WHY MUST YOU DO THIS? WE HAVE TO RUN AN EXTRA LAP around the dog track with A BIGGER DOG THAN USUAL chasing us just for THINKING about these! WHY?

We will never forgive you. Also, they appear to be selling out quite quickly. Everybody else should get them while you can.

Skrillex – Recess Review: it’z PHuXin’ hAxCOre 8lradOdodorAAaa8Um8UM8uM

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So the other day, we were cH1lL1n L1k3 v1LL4NZ 3471n v4N1lL4 pUdD1N’. And 50und2 WeRe neeDed 3 8 4ll LIKe 0m9 h4rdc0RD j0. So we decided to try 5KR1lL3X Recess 833 8Op 84 dOOP Jo Jo JO 17’2 5o h1P 4ND r4d 8Ow WOw wOw Wowo phuN. And we were like 84D008999 Y34h 175 50 h4X0rr1n’ 8L4h 8L4H 8l4h WH477 D4 h3lL h4Pp3ND 2 ur f4c3 M4n.

In conclusion, we think  WUB wUB wub 4lL 0vEr 4 r00d B0y 4HHHh Bee BEE bEe 9LDJ09hD 1Hd10h9uRH9uHD y0yR m0ThERE W00D L0VE t0 0d09d: dubstep l9jD h4 H4 h4 SKR1LLeX 4Ll bEeF p4TTy ph0R rE4L2elJ9dl90:1dJ9*01:J9ld AHHHHHHHHH MY FACE n01&h91UNjnUU 4Nd l:9:0jDu09JN skrillex. dkuH91uH W1T BASS  4 s1De 0f pHr1e2.

It’s fun.