Check this out! We were absolutely shocked at this deal. We were shopping for something to power our office during storms. Recently, we’ve had a lot and with Global Climate Change in full swing, we have to be able to watch our Youtube, even in the midst of world destruction.
After our website gains more success, we hope to open up more offices overseas. We will definitely get another one of these when we’re ready! You should too.
We all should. If we want to survive…..
And we MUST survive….
Praise Jackie Robinson! Bacon on amazon!
Nothing more needs to be said. Do you even have the balls to buy anything else?
I doubt it.
I like toast. I like to toast my bread, bagels, and English Muffins. When I asked my coworker to get a toaster for the office, I expected a nice, simple, functional toaster to please my toasting needs.
That said… on the bright side, we at least didn’t get the most expensive toaster on amazon. For that, I should be grateful.
Apparently.
Do you just HATE those people who SPEND MONEY on laptops? Do you want only the very simplest thing that still looks like a real computer, but only does what your phone can do? Then a Chromebook is perfect for you!
Do you do nothing but check you mails, watch 480p videos on Youtube, and play crashy, simple games? Do you want no industry-standard work apps and next to no creative editing software? Then I swear, you better get one of these.
It has USB ports. 16 GB SSD (32 if you want to SPEND MONEY, but who the hell DOES THAT?) and a SD card slot. You’ll need that SD card slot. Unless you absolutely have no files.
I am still seriously confused as to why anybody would buy one of these. But if you do, go ahead.
What a weird product. We were searching for something to show how successful our site was, so we could go up in the club and be ballers and stuff. Word. This is one of the cheapest Rolex(es?) on the site. But, I guess for that price you only get cheap discounted versions that are for very specific people and events.
Apparently you can’t date while wearing this watch? Bummer. I guess it’s bad manners. And it can only be washed with silver colored Dial soap. You can’t even tell what color the soap is on amazon! Where am I going to get that? And how does the watch show that somebody is fat? What kind of marks does it use? I guess wearing this watch says “I am fat”? Does it beep when you back up? I’m guessing that Domed Bezel is the name of the guy who designed it? Or maybe it was made for him (her?). Not only that, but it’s unisex. That’s a bit personal. I don’t care if somebody is a hermaphrodite.
If it’s only made for one person, WHY put it on amazon? I guess we’ll wait until we can afford the Rolex Day-Date II President Platinum Watch. Perfect for the second daylight frolic with Barack Obama paid for with our Platinum card.
Finally! Microsoft recently announced that they will no longer update or support Windows XP! This is fantastic news, as they have finally finished and perfected the best software they ever made. No more updates to screw it up while trying to keep up with all this “modern technology”. Microsoft basically said that they’re done. It can be no more perfect than it is. Awesome!
We proudly use Windows XP on our receptionist’s computer. We tried to use XP on our computers, but WordPress and twitter are stuck in the stone age and need like a gazillion gigs of RAM.
Show your support for the greatest software ever made! Buy a copy today and hack your refrigerator to run it! Teach your kids about the good ‘ol days every time they try to get some ice!
Hey kids! Want to be a KILLER WHALE TRAINER? Sure you do! Now you can experience what it’s like with this 40 inch Orca Whale by Fiesta!
Just set it in the middle of your room, pool, or dungeon, step far away, and yell at it! Watch as it does absolutely nothing you tell it to do, just like real wild killer whales! DON’T TOUCH IT, IT WILL KILL YOU. It adds to the realism! Plus, new laws won’t let you touch it anyway. Wow!
While the size is not to scale, it’s stuffed and dead inside just like real killer whales in captivity! Wow! If you’re lucky, you can get a blurry picture to photoshop it and yourself into a Free Willy poster. WOW! I SAY WOW!
Did you know that Killer Whales are sometimes called Orcas? I wonder why they never call them that in the news? Only Jackie Robinson knows…
Have you ever want to….let’s say… DESTROY all the fruit in existence? Like, Hitler-style kill? Have you ever wanted to be the anti-fruit dictator who then sucks down the remains of your victims?
Then follow our steps! This is something the whole family can enjoy!
1. Gather your victims. If you have the budget of a small country, you can at least buy up all the fruit at your local grocer. If you have a high credit limit, maybe all the fruit on amazon.
2. Get yourself a few of these death machines.
3. Get a barrel. Evil Dictators always keep remains in barrels.
4. Practice your Maniacal Laugh.
BONUS STEP: Film everything and upload to Youtube. Make sure you have the laugh down before you do this. It’s VERY IMPORTANT.
If all goes well, we should be rid of all the fruit on the planet before the end of the year! Isn’t that awesome?
Hello, everyone! Here’s our take on Wolfenstein: The New Order. After several hours of thinking about how the game play will be, we’re pretty sure people will like it. I mean, if you’re smart you can just like, go to Youtube and see some of the footage yourself.
There. Take a damn good look. If you like it, buy it. Pre-order it and play it when it comes out. It’s pretty simple. I mean, check it out: you can get it for PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, PC, PlayStation 4, and Xbox One. If this is the type of game you like, you have NO EXCUSE BUT TO BUY IT, BECAUSE YOU WILL LIKE IT.
Now that we’ve done all the work for you, you better appreciate it. We hope our review helped you make up your mind. That’s what reviews do, don’t they?
Also, that DOOM Beta is something you will most likely like too. Dammit, WHY AREN’T YOU CLICKING?
So in my dream last night, a horde of Flying Lobster Demons destroyed the world. Let’s make that happen! Here’s how you can do it with our favorite site, amazon!
Ingredients:
Lobsters. Lots of them.
Red Bull. Lots of it.
Hot Sauce. Must be at least 100,000 scovilles.
Some kind of mutant radioactive yellow cake.
As for what to do after that, we have no idea. We’re hoping you can figure that out. Have fun destroying the world!
