Check this out! We were absolutely shocked at this deal. We were shopping for something to power our office during storms. Recently, we’ve had a lot and with Global Climate Change in full swing, we have to be able to watch our Youtube, even in the midst of world destruction.
After our website gains more success, we hope to open up more offices overseas. We will definitely get another one of these when we’re ready! You should too.
We all should. If we want to survive…..
And we MUST survive….
PARENTAL DISCRETION ADVISED: STRONG LANGUAGE
Ok… seriously… remember how we were talking about this earlier this week?
We go to check the news today, something we only do when we’re VERY bored. And there’s a BIG FUCKING ARTICLE on how some hack called “Stephen Colbert” is replacing Dave Letterman on the Late Show. SERIOUSLY???
WHO THE FUCK IS STEPHEN COLBERT?
As you know, we were all about TEAM FERGUSON. It was HIS JOB to take. He’s AMAZING. We were in SUCH A RAGE that we actually had to do RESEARCH as to WHO THE FUCK THIS STEPHEN COLBERT IS. At first, we thought he was that guy in Death to Smoochy. Turns out, that’s ANOTHER guy. I don’t even remember his fucking name. Why do people think these idiots are even IMPORTANT? It looks like they to POLITICAL SHOWS. LAME. What kind of IDIOT gives a DAMN about POLITICS?? All politics do is depress and opress! Who the FUCK would watch a show like that? THEY’RE NOT FUN AT ALL. I don’t want politics in my late night shows!
We tried to watch this insignificant nobody’s show. We tried to watch it all day.
Not one laugh. NOT ONE FUCKING LAUGH. He is not funny. We watched like 500 shows.
Anybody want to place their bets? We bet that he’ll either be booted before even taking the desk, or get Conan’d in the first year.
As for you, Craig. We love you. I think we read that you’re getting a nice settlement for not getting the job. May we suggest some shopping? You deserve it.
WHO THE FUCK IS STEPHEN COLBERT?
Have you ever want to….let’s say… DESTROY all the fruit in existence? Like, Hitler-style kill? Have you ever wanted to be the anti-fruit dictator who then sucks down the remains of your victims?
Then follow our steps! This is something the whole family can enjoy!
1. Gather your victims. If you have the budget of a small country, you can at least buy up all the fruit at your local grocer. If you have a high credit limit, maybe all the fruit on amazon.
2. Get yourself a few of these death machines.
3. Get a barrel. Evil Dictators always keep remains in barrels.
4. Practice your Maniacal Laugh.
BONUS STEP: Film everything and upload to Youtube. Make sure you have the laugh down before you do this. It’s VERY IMPORTANT.
If all goes well, we should be rid of all the fruit on the planet before the end of the year! Isn’t that awesome?
Here’s our review of Flash Boys: A Wall Street Revolt.
Seriously? Uh. I mean…. who reads BOOKS these days?
Seriously. The only reason I have any is that they look good on a bookshelf. I’m sure this will be out on Blu-Ray someday. Maybe I’ll care then.
Ugh.
